Asking Eric: Son family treats parents’ house like a storage unit

Dear Eric My wife and I uprooted from our rural society and bought a home to be nearer our grown children who had both settled near the city Soon after our son and his family of four and a dog lost their housing as their rental situation failed after the landowner passed away Of discipline we took them in and several months later they uncovered a new situation and moved out The trouble is they didn t take all their stuff and after nine months they seem unable even unwilling to do so Half of my two-car garage is full and a defunct and non-maintained stand-up swimming pool is an eyesore in my yard Each effort I have made to discuss this results in me being the bad guy How can I convince them they are not welcome to use my property as their storage Confounded Dear Confounded Send them a bill for storage or give them a deadline This won t keep you from being painted as the bad guy but it will get your garage back It sounds like they re taking advantage of you a bit And perhaps they are genuinely at a loss as to what they should do for storage solutions But if they refuse to figure it out with you or propose alternatives you re left with little recourse I m presuming you ve already talked to them about finding a local storage unit for their things If not that s a good place to start If you re so inclined you might even offer to help them with the cost But you ve already let them live rent-free in addition to holding their belongings for nine months so unless the situation is really dire there doesn t seem to be a reason to extend your generosity Should they opt not to move the items then you have to decide what you can get rid of without causing irreparable strife in your family So don t throw out baby books please Perhaps you work piecemeal starting with the pool for instance If you tell them that you need it out of your yard by a set date then the day after revealed date post it on a Buy Nothing group or call a junk hauler if it s too far gone Dear Readers The following letter includes a mention of suicidal ideation Please take care should you choose to read it Dear Eric At years of age and receiving SSDI I find myself about to be homeless The charming house I ve lived in for years has been sold my pittance of my retirement dwindles daily the uncertainty of our governing body doesn t help and I m just tired I have no children I ve rounded up the old medication I saved and plan to crawl into bed in a limited weeks and really pray that I will overdose to death I ve willed my body to one of the med schools so there will be no body or cremains I ve been getting my affairs in order boxed a few items and donated a lot more I feel very calm about this While I am apologetic about leaving the mess of death to my friends My family lives on the other coast how can I leave and apologize for this inconvenience Should I leave instructions on who to call after I pass Plan Related Articles Asking Eric Husband has extreme reaction to wife s affection Asking Eric Stepdaughter suddenly turns on stepmother Asking Eric Mother still paying rent for child s ex Asking Eric Girls trip with mother-in-law ends in resentment Asking Eric Friend s daughter s bad manners ruin social group Dear Plan When you wrote to me I wrote back to you directly and I hope that you took this advice I demanded to share it with a wider readership in circumstance anyone else is in a similar position The long and short of it I beg you to consider another option I know that the situation you re in is painful and hard I understand that you re tired I know it must be so emotionally grueling to face the challenges you re facing But please talk about what s going on with the Dilemma Lifeline dial on any phone hours a day There are people who are trained to listen and to talk you through what s happening You are not alone and the problems you re facing though complicated are not insurmountable You re asking about how to apologize for the inconvenience of handling your affairs but wouldn t your family and friends much prefer the chance to help you now I know you re exhausted but please ask those who care about you for assistance be it with money or a place to stay or just a listening ear You are not an inconvenience At our lowest moments sometimes it s hard to remember that we matter But you do matter You re more than a list of to-dos and you re more than your worst days Those whom you love would surely be heartbroken to find they missed out on the chance to show you how much they love you back Send questions to R Eric Thomas at eric askingeric com or P O Box Philadelphia PA Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas com