Asking Eric: Husband’s old girlfriend keeps posting about him on social media

Dear Eric An old high school girlfriend of my husband s more than years creates social media posts about him and tags him including photos of him or of the two of them together In my husband s defense he has inevitably responded or reacted appropriately with only a short neutral comment or reaction On our shared desktop one day I was signing him out of his email to sign into mine because he never signs out making this a normal routine While I was doing this I saw an unread email inviting him to connect with her on another business networking site Although the email was not directly from her it still put an instant pit in my stomach He revealed he didn t know why she petitioned to connect but maybe she was thinking about changing jobs and added that he rarely used that site I truly do trust my husband so ideally that should be that We ve been married for more than years and have a good marriage She is of late divorced but lives in another state so the only connection he has with her is through social media and old high school friends I spoke with my husband about her latest post and explained how it bothers me and I thought it may be best to ignore this latest one but felt he should know I want to address it with her if she did it again He was very understanding agreed with me on ignoring it and also supported my writing to her So I ve been preparing a short note on how posting about another woman s husband is inappropriate but now am pondering what s best Addressing it only from me Addressing it only from my husband Addressing it from both my husband and I Additionally should I wait to address it with her until she posts again or address it right away Or should I not address it at all I really don t want to give her attention This has been going on for about eight years now so any advice would be greatly appreciated Dealing with An Ex Dear Dealing The last option not addressing it is your best bet If you don t want to give her attention don t Furthermore drawing her into a debate about her actions is just going to add more stress to your life If your husband isn t secure with the continued attention and honestly eight years of nostalgia posts is too much for even the the majority halcyon of times then he should block her Dear Eric A childhood friend almost a brother really cheated on his wife when we were in our late s Our two families were very close and my wife became his wife s main emotional assistance person during a very painful divorce He was a jerk during the whole matter and it broke up our friendship Now years later he has sent me a friend request on Facebook My wife has no interest in contact with him and though she says it s my choice I know she prefers I ignore it But part of me is still mourning the loss of this old decades-long friendship and I feel like I need to respond I m torn Feeling Stuck Dear Stuck It sounds like your friend has specific amends to make for the rift he caused in your friendship And perhaps this request is a first step toward that It also sounds like you re not quite done with this relationship either We aren t only our worst moments or even our worst periods in life So your friend may have changed or grown It makes sense that your wife doesn t want any more to do with him but I don t see the harm in you responding to see where he stands I hope you re pleasantly surprised Dear Eric In response to Concerned Mom whose son has been using drugs for two years and who stated that Al-Anon groups are hard core I suggest she keep looking for Al-Anon groups that fit her demands Related Articles Asking Eric Partner is reliably rude to neighbors Asking Eric Aunt wants information about adopted niece s birth mother Asking Eric After parents divorce adult child picks sides Asking Eric Friends insist on inviting themselves over for pool parties Asking Eric After husband gets sober wife gets stuck in a funk I have been a member for years and in Al-Anon we do not give advice or tell people what to do We share our experience strength and hope There should be nothing hard core about Al-Anon It is a gentle venture and we all recover at our own speed Online meetings are available around the world Also if she is not peaceful with meetings she may benefit greatly from reading the literature available at al-anon org Hope This Helps Dear Hope I too hope that the letter writer is able to find an Al-Anon or SMART Recovery Family meeting that speaks to her when she s ready to take that step They re a great benefit to so several Thanks for writing Send questions to R Eric Thomas at eric askingeric com or P O Box Philadelphia PA Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas com